The Fishbowl Advantage
Remember When
Remember the old school fishbowls? Like the one you put the goldfish in that you won at your elementary school carnival with a ping pong (er, table tennis) ball and a perfect 5’ arc from behind the table. Let me guess, you named it “Goldie”?!
No colorful rocks on the bottom, water filtration systems, or fancy castles for Goldie to live in. Just a round, clear fishbowl with your prized possession inside.
You’d run home to Goldie every day after school. Feed him (Or her. Who ever really knew?). And watch it swim aimlessly around the bowl, I assume looking for the exit path. Watching that fish in the bowl was mesmerizing for any kid. “What’s he doing?” “Where’s he going?” “I wonder what he’s thinking?” were all questions that swirled through my 10-year-old mind.
I watched and speculated as this little fish went about its day. Pure joy…for the approximately week and a half I was able to keep him alive before he – and all the others – inevitably went on the ultimate “swirl”! 😀
New Perspective
But aside from the innocence of the nostalgia thinking back upon those days, there is another lesson to be learned from the time with all the “Goldies” we had as kids.
It’s one about introspection.
Something I like to call “The Fishbowl Advantage”.
We live in a busy world. More, more, more is often the aim and busyness – whether real or perceived – is worn like a badge of honor. A testament to our “worthiness”.
We’re Goldie. Swimming around all day every day packing in as much as possible and not always sure what we have achieved or what we have to show for it at the end of the day. (That topic alone warrants its own blog post. Here it is: The Badge of Dishonor.)
The challenge in the Fishbowl Advantage is to be that outside observer like you were watching your goldfish swim around in the bowl. Dust off the skills of observation, curiosity, and imagination.
However, instead of looking at Goldie in the fishbowl, the bowl contains your life. The water inside the bowl is everything – your faith, marriage, kids, friends, service, job, aspirations, hobbies, activities, and interests. All. Of. It. (Notice, I didn’t put your career first.)
And YOU, my friend, are the goldfish.
You must mentally step outside of your daily rat race. It will take effort, and your brain will throw a temper tantrum…it can’t help itself; the brain always wants to default to the path of least resistance. It will get over it, trust me.
Be an observer of your own life.
Time for Growth
Once you become an objective observer, now the work (and fun!) begins. You can begin to assess everything in the bowl with a clear perspective. You can introspect.
But here’s the deal…and it’s CRUCIAL! When you unleash the power of the Fishbowl Advantage you must commit to do so objectively and free from judging yourself on what’s in the bowl right now. No one way tickets on the shame-train. This exercise is about personal growth, not personal condemnation. Learn, grow, repeat. Plain and simple.
Some basic questions to start with as you introspect on your life (fishbowl) from the outside looking in:
- What is all currently in the fishbowl? (You need to be real about what you are starting with.)
- What in the fishbowl is working? (Embrace the good!)
- What in the fishbowl is not working? (Identify points of friction.)
- Who is in the fishbowl that fills my tank? (You need energy to keep going.)
- Who is in the fishbowl that drains my tank? (You need to know where your energy is zapped.)
- How are you spending your time each day? Each week? (Chart it. Get real with yourself.)
- What are your personal priorities? (Write them down.)
- Does how you are spending your time reflect those priorities? (Look for misalignments.)
- What adjustments need to be made? (Make a plan to course-correct.)
- ______ (Fill in the blank with any number of questions you would like to add.)
Then reflect. Think. Journal. Ponder. Go on a walk. Go to a coffee shop. Hide in a closet. Whatever it takes! Give yourself appropriate time. No distractions. No kids. No screens. Just you and a quiet place. And enjoy.
19th Hole with Stoll
The Fishbowl Advantage is a gift we can all take advantage of. And it shouldn’t be a one-and-done effort. It should be a part of our foundation of personal growth and development.
This life, our time with our families – our time with our kids – passes in the blink of an eye. If we are not ferocious about taking advantage of the time we have, we’ll wake up one day and realize the last grain of sand has fallen out of the hourglass and now it’s too late. We’ll be left with “woulda”, “coulda”, “shoulda”.
We must know what we’re aiming for. Answer the questions above, and your own, and be ruthless about setting your sights on making what’s in your fishbowl match what you see from your newfound view from outside your fishbowl. Be bold. Act courageously. Don’t be like everyone else. Don’t settle for “busyness” as the badge of honor in your life. Direct your steps.
As the great Zig Ziglar said, “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.”
And take heart, we’re not striving for perfection in the fishbowl of our lives (if you are, then I’ve got some hard news to break to you!). We’re striving for progress. Constant refinement, subtle tweaking…like bumpers in the bowling lane gutters for kids.
Start small. If a change seems overwhelming, then it’s too big. Think 1%. Small changes add up over time. And lastly, give yourself lots of grace. What results from the Fishbowl Advantage – like all things in life – is a journey, not a destination. Embrace the journey! (Check out my article about the importance of recalibration!)
Evoke a thought.
